“The clue as to who we really are and why we are here comes to us through our heart’s desire. (John Eldredge)”
“Life is a desperate quest through dangerous country to a destination that is, beyond all our wildest hopes, indescribably good. (John Eldredge)”
I was reading passages by John Eldredge this morning and as beautiful as the last one is it just doesn’t reflect how I was feeling about life in general. Yes, in the big picture, life really can be seen as a dangerous adventure that’s worth the voyage. The destination being heaven, of course. Life is, for sure, a dangerous country that many of us never get through without losing our hearts or becoming numb.Regardless of the fact that heaven is waiting for me at the end of this earthly journey I want to feel different about the trip. At times, it just seems like I barely make it through one maze of drudgery or bewilderment before I am caught up in another. I hate feeling that way. I am by nature usually a very passionate person…..passionate about the people I love and take care of, passionate about what I believe in and passionate about what I like to do to express myself. The last few days have just not been filled with the same idea of adventure and didn’t even seem to have a destination. Days that just ended with aching bones and a pounding headache. I get bored easily, and here lately, stressed to the breaking point it seems. I’ve been told and read that these are signs of burn-out. Burn-out? As a matter of fact, I have been feeling “charred” to the bone lately. The only way that I know to cure a bad case of burn-out is to change gears – which means I need a change in direction and speed. Something has got to give, so to speak. But, how? I’ll figure it out, I always do. I’m running out of creative steam and the only way to get my “get-up-and-go” back is some alone time — not an easy task for someone with 6 people in her household she’s trying to take care of, not including herself.
I have to say that I have taken the first step to getting myself to really living abundantly — prayer. I was just teaching a lesson on this last night at church to some middle school age children. Prayer – our lifeline to God. Sometimes I think we all forget that God cares even for what seems trivial to others – like how we feel about our lives and whether or not we even feel anymore- numbness. Sometimes we put up these walls to protect ourselves or we just get so tired that we aren’t feeling the good or the bad anymore. I really don’t believe God would want his children to be living their lives out like robotic numb creatures without hearts just doing what is right and getting through the tasks of the day—checking off our checklists…… I believe that when Jesus said that he came to give us life and life abundant he meant that we were to have that life here and now – not when earthly life is over and we are finally in heaven. I’m not saying that he promised life without pain or trials, but that how we live that life and how we feel about it — it matters.
“There is a desire within each of us, in the deep center of ourselves that we call our heart. We were born with it, it is never completely satisfied, and it never dies. We are often unaware of it,but it is always awake….Our true identity, our reason for being, is to be found in this desire. (Gerald May)”