Today is one of those gentle breezed blue sky days that just insists on the ceasing of all labor. Fortunately, I’ve decided that all housework, homework, and haggling must go on the back burner for at least a few hours. I’m soaking up some outdoors and going to get introspective for a while. The kids are also outside with me playing and stocking up on some natural vitamin D.
(I’m writing this post and taking pictures entirely from my iPad, by the way.)
Last night my oldest son Alex invited me to spend the evening with him. After supper, I left all the little ones with my husband and Alex and I left to relax with a steaming cup of our favorite Starbucks brew and some Barnes and Noble shopping/reading. Among our many discussions last night was about having more fun and actually enjoying our lives. We are all so busy these days accomplishing the everyday “must be dones” that down time gets shoved to the bottom of our lists. Alex and I both agreed that relaxation and adventure should at least be much closer to the top of our “to do” lists.
After all, we’re all just barely clinging to those fleeting precious moments in our lives, struggling to milk the life out of each one we can. I look at the 20 something’s and realize that I’m no longer there. (Duh) I’m much farther down the road now, yet it feels like it was just yesterday. Life moves along so much faster the older I get. (I’m turning 44 this month – **sarcastic woo-hoo**)
I’m all too aware of how old I’ve gotten but I refuse to accept the label of “old” or even “older”. Supposedly people my age are considered middle-aged. Admitting to being middle-aged would be claiming that I know that this is the middle of my life and I cannot know that. Only my God knows how long my life will be.
I hate having regrets. But there’s been more of these here lately as I’ve been assessing this growing older thing. It stinks, really, realizing I’ve lived 43 years and still have so much more life that I want to live. And there’s just not time enough for me to do all the things I’d planned on. The only way I know to counteract this awful realization is to take personal inventory of all I have done(which is a lot) and what I should and want to accomplish from here on.
My life has had some major twists and turns and has, at times, left me feeling as helpless as a passenger on a roller coaster or a survivor of a train wreck. I’ve also had times where my choices have been for the better and have led me closer to God. It was always a much straighter path when I let Him have the wheel. God has been a great tour guide on this life adventure. He’s shown me much more than I’d have ever seen on my own. I think that’s the key word here…”on my own”. I haven’t really been on my own. He’s always been there for me.
While sitting out here in this gorgeous sunny scenery, I’ve been thinking about a bucket list and what I’d put on that list. You know what? I think I just might start writing one! But, not now…. I think I’ll go pour myself a glass of iced tea with lemon and sit in the sun in my Adirondack chair.