the pages turn too quickly…

089I feel like the pages of my life are turning too quickly.
The days are melting into each other…bright busy mornings overflowing into exhausted evenings…each moment building into the next until they are but years behind me and only memories.

My heart is aching tonight for the precious time wasted on what doesn’t really matter and how we often don’t realize we are squandering those hours dutifully moving through our daily tasks and so many times missing the opportunity to pause…

to really revel and relish in this life we’re living…

how many beautiful “roses” have to wither and fade before we realize its winter?

093redskyHow many tenderly quiet crimson and golden sunsets will fade into darkness before we find that night has settled in?

Life is moving at a dizzying pace that spins my mind…

am I as powerless to its centrifugal force as I feel? Am I really?

He said to “be still” and know that He is God.IMG_7548TireSwingTree Why did he say “be still?”
Could it be because He knew how prone we are to being swept away and so helplessly caught up in the busy spinning of our own lives like voluntary victims of tilt-a-whirls?

I watch my young children longer are any of them babies.IMG_4035 My heart skips a beat, aches at the thought of how fast they’ve grown. I’ve taken my turn watching all seven of them breathing peacefully while they dream. They have grown faster than my heart can handle…

I wanna press the pause button.

My youngest is four years old now…still so very tiny for his age but insistent on being a “big boy.”

Some of my babies have w~r~i~g~g~l~e~d out of my arms and into adulthood…now living on their own. I’m proud, of course. But…still...those pages! Those pages have turned too quickly!

As I watch my four youngest sleep tonight… I’m wondering how to press the pause button on this fast forwarding speed of life.
I want to hold the sweet expressions, the kisses, giggles and adoration of all my children just a few more moments longer, imprint them on my heart forever.  I don’t want to miss the gentle fragrance of another”rose” or the 2010 06 28_6459flowersflaming reds of another sunset.

I want to capture each passing moment and hold it just a little tighter, to really notice the here and now… to be grateful, alive, to be still...because I know all too well how quickly those precious moments will melt into years of just memories.

One comment

  1. Yes, these feelings of “lost” beautiful moments get worse as the years fade into yesterdays never to be relived. Then the realization that the same God that gave you these precious few moments here to cherish “just for a season” is the One that promised that He came to give you life and to give it “more abundantly.” He gave you children to let you know how He feels when He sees you sleeping; so you would feel the aching He feels when you wander away from Him; to know His joy when you come back to His side and rest in HIs presence. He gave you the beauty of this world so you could have a small taste of what Heaven is like because mere words cannot describe it’s grandeur. Then regretting turns into excitement at the thought of shedding this cocoon and taking wings like a brand new butterfly would and souring off to claim this promise He gave long ago of “life more abundant” where there is no more regretting, lonely thoughts of lost time because there “time” will be no more and our existence will not be measured by it’s short ruler anymore.

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