I woke up this morning before dawn with the same nagging heartache I struggled to sleep through last night. I gave up on trying to redeem any sleep and decided to make coffee. On only 4 hours of sleep, it needed to be strong.
The upside of being up this early is that the little ones are still sleeping, so I have uninterrupted prayer time. My prayer this morning was for peace and power over this present nagging heartache. Often I ask God to lead me to some scripture or devotional that is pertinent to what I am going through or will go through for the day. The following excerpt from John Eldredge’s book, Beautiful Outlaw, is the devotional He led me to read right after my prayer.
Jesus enjoyed people. Not everyone does,you know. Many stories find him feasting with a rowdy crowd. He invited twelve men to spend day and night with him for three years. His longing for companionship intensifies to a crescendo in Gethsemane: “He took Peter and the two sons of Zebedee along with him…’Stay here and keep watch with me'”(Matt. 26:37-38).Don’t leave me alone, not now. How urgently human. Yes, Jesus knew loneliness. He’s not pretending. The one who created the human heart-whose own heart was so kind and so vast-this man felt deeply. He who created love and friendship longed for it.
This is no superhero, steeled and impervious to the human condition. Far from it.
And loneliness is something we all share with him. To be missed, or misunderstood. To be judge unfairly. To be wanted for what you can do, rather than who you are. to go on for years unappreciated, even unknown by those closest to you. Imagine living your entire life in a world where the people closest to you don’t get you. Oh…you do live in that world. And Jesus understands.- Beautiful Outlaw (by John Eldredge)
And Jesus understands! Those last words reached out and wrapped me in the supernatural comforting arms of God’s Holy Spirit! Needless to say, I was overwhelmed with the love of Jesus and how He used this book excerpt to speak to me.
Through thankful tear-filled eyes I am seeing more clearly this morning of not only His great and inexplicable peace but of how He makes all things new…even me…and sometimes daily.
I’m watching the morning sun shine through almost bare late Autumn trees…they are adorned with frozen dew now warmed into sparkling drops of water. I am thankful. I am comforted. And I am in peaceful awe.