I’m trying desperately to muddle out of this new chaotic “thing” that’s reared its ugly peace wrecking head in our lives. The tension in the back of my neck and the deep sorrowful ache in my heart is consequence of attempts to find reason in what should have been so simple. It will be a miracle if the sleep comes tonight. Most of the time, I choose to see the good in a situation. I choose the joy. Even if it seems to be hiding, I seek it out…call it forward.
And then there’s these kinds of days. You know, the ones that scream with all the force of darkness…dredge up every negative emotion.
The world is so very broken. There is so much pain and suffering. So much selfishness and pride. Sometimes I am amazed at how comfortable the majority seems to be in this darkness. God, we’ve come so far from the beautiful Eden you created. We still turn our backs away from the bountiful wonders you set before us…always seeking more or different…As if there just might be something better…as if You were holding out on us. Our greedy hearts always aimlessly wandering towards what ultimately only brings misery.
My soul is in such deep thirst for your comfort and protection tonight. I need spiritual shelter under Your all-seeing, all-knowing power. I am laying down every burden of my heart and leaning into Your peace that passes all understanding.
Psalm 42:5-8The Message (MSG)
5 Why are you down in the dumps, dear soul?
Why are you crying the blues?
Fix my eyes on God—
soon I’ll be praising again.
He puts a smile on my face.
He’s my God.
6-8 When my soul is in the dumps, I rehearse
everything I know of you,
From Jordan depths to Hermon heights,
including Mount Mizar.
Chaos calls to chaos,
to the tune of whitewater rapids.
Your breaking surf, your thundering breakers
crash and crush me.
Then God promises to love me all day,
sing songs all through the night!
My life is God’s prayer.